Private Threads (R5)

[nachetanya]

This is the post where Tsubasa and Nachetanya have private threads leading up to Case 4/their deaths.

- Week 2, Tuesday Evening (after the Meeting)
- Week 2, Friday Evening (after the Afterparty, semi-nsfw)
- Week 3, Wednesday Morning (semi-nsfw)
- Week 3, Thursday Evening (semi-nsfw)
- Week 4, Wednesday Evening (after King's Game, semi-nsfw, title's wrong oops)
- Week 4, Thursday Evening (KILL LOG)

Comments

[halleberry]

[ canonically tsubasa???? fucking weird man ]

Because she can accept anything, I assume you mean.

[nachetanya]

[ . . . MY MOTHER AND SISTERS PROTEST THIS. FUCKING WEIRDO ]

Yes.

[ . . . It's interesting to have someone else say that. ]

[halleberry]

I'm curious, nya. Obviously, she won't know about this, and I won't tell her if you don't, but I want you to be honest with me.

Do you think that's a good thing?

[nachetanya]

[ . . . For her plan, it's necessary, or well. At least helpful. But in her heart... ]

No, I hate it, actually.

[halleberry]

[ ...It seems like she wasn't expecting that response, but she's satisfied with it. If she was willing to say that much, maybe she won't mind if Hanekawa presses her further? ]

Why's that? Doesn't it just mean she's an adaptable person, nya?

[ It goes deeper than that, and no one knows that better than Hanekawa does. But this could be a bit of a test, of sorts. ]

Even when things are at their worst, she can take them as they are and bounce back. Is there something detestable about that?

[nachetanya]

To accept everything means that you don't have likes and dislikes, and...

[ She didn't mean to say that. It really isn't a good thing that she said that. She should not have said that. She presses her lips together and... exhales. No, she said it, she might as well - either be honest or spin it. ]

I thought it was strange, that a person could be "empty" in the same way Tsubasa often is but still hold onto an ambition that she could speak so openly about - her trip around the world. Something she desires, yearns for, and has put forth the effort to obtain. But with that in mind... [ She tilts her head ] Ambitions reveal the truth of people more readily than anything, but it didn't reveal much to me at all about her.

[halleberry]

[ To her credit, interestingly, she doesn't make much of a reaction when Nachetanya mentions that. It's just a quiet understanding, a sort of, "ah, you caught that, too?" ]

She doesn't. Have any dislikes, that is, nya. I mentioned as much before, but, to catch onto the idea that she doesn't have any likes, either...I'm glad you noticed it. Since you were privy enough to catch that, I'll let you in on a secret.

I said that my mistress is different from the rest of you humans. ...I meant that. I said that there was something unique about the burial she gave me, that I had never received one like her's before. Most of them out there, they wouldn't get it, but since you're so close to her, you might understand it, nya. ...And the reason I'm telling you this is because if I told anyone else this, they may resent her for it. Because there are people out there that do.

[nachetanya]

[ She presses her lips together for a moment before she exhales and: ]

I haven't resented her yet.

[halleberry]

[ ... ]

Don't let on that you know about this. But my mistress is...well, the idea of what she does is difficult to put into words. The way she severs her heart, I should say. But it's not unlike something you discussed with my mistress before. I'm not smart like she is, so I can't put it in flowery, brilliant language like she can, but, the reality of the situation, when you said she was "empty," you were actually pretty much right on the money, nya.

My mistress is kind and compassionate, selfless. Brave. Supportive. These are all true, and there's no denying that. But that isn't because of any sort of principle on her part, or a strong desire to be kind, nya. She does it because it's almost like she has a set of laws and formulas in her head, axioms that she follows to the letter, ordinances set by herself that her idea of a "good person" would abide by.

[ Dislikes: Breaking Rules ]

But while she follows them to the letter without flaw or hesitation, does everything she can for someone else when asked, she isn't kind because of a desire to enact kindness. She's kind because, to her, that's just common sense, nya. ...Scary, right? She acts as she believes a good person would, but she does it without fail, without faltering, without any sort of conscious thought on her part. She carries out her morals like a machine.

That burial I was telling you about? Typically, when someone buries me, they at least feel some amount of pity or sympathy. Shit, nya, every now and again, you even get the occasional reluctance, or anger, at the fact that they have to take time out of their day and dig a hole for some stupid cat. But when my mistress buried me? There was no pity. There was no sorrow, or fear, or even guilt. My mistress didn't allow herself to feel a thing when she buried me, and I felt it. She simply buried me because any good person who came across a cat on the side of the road would have taken the time out to give a proper burial. It was actually a beautiful burial, might I add, nya. But there was no...sentiment. Not even an, "I hope someone comes by and sees what a good person I am for doing this," nya. She just did it because that's how she believes a good person should be, and nothing more. It's her idea of self-satisfaction, nya.

I had felt compelled to know what kind of circumstances could make a human like that, so, I decided to assimilate with her, instead of taking over her completely. And you know the rest, nya.

[nachetanya]

[ . . . ]

Why tell me all this?

[halleberry]

Because it isn't as though she doesn't feel anything, nya. She pushes her pain and her sadness and anger and strong emotions onto me, but she's not some behavioral zombie, nyot even close.

[ ... ]

When my mistress says she's fascinyated by you, she isn't lying, nya. And I can tell that, for all of the stress you put her through, you give a shit about her.

I don't know if this is asking a lot of you, nya. But if you can, I want you to help me save her.

[nachetanya]

[ Her mouth hangs open slightly at this, and before she -

No.

No.

... No. No, this is perfect for the plan. This is perfect, because it will allow her to win over the trust of the cat. This will allow her to act with impunity and not allow the cat to mess things up. Sure, it might force her to act next week (it's too late right now) but this is the best way to handle things. This is a miracle. A godsend. Because this trust, this absolute faith like this-

This will allow her to kill Tsubasa any way she needs to.

She barely notices that her eyes are tearing up a little ]

Save her?

[halleberry]

If you're going to be lovers now, nya, you're best suited for that. I tried to do it myself, once. I went through the streets during Golden Week, relieving as much of her stress as I could. But that was an inefficient way of going about it, nya. And with her stress at an all-time high here, with me coming out like this so often, there's only so much I can do on my own.

Don't get me wrong, Nyachetanya. I'm not saying I've done a complete 180 on you. Looking at that pitiful, crying face of yours, I'm starting to regret opening my big mouth, nyahaha...

But, as much of a shit as you can be, you do good when you're serious. And you did just say you hated that she was like this. But you still don't resent her.

In my eyes, that makes you well-equipped to at least try.

[nachetanya]

[ Crying...? ... Ah, she was, wash't she? She reaches her hand up, wiping off the one eye and then the other. She shakes her head, dismissing everything. Dismissing the guilt, dismissing actively thinking about the plan. Dismissing much of everything except for this conversation.

( and her ambitions. That peaceful world. That future that she promised Dozzu she would die to achieve. That was worth a kingdom, that was worth deceiving her loved ones, her allies, and worth five hundred thousand human lives. It was worth twenty-five souls.

It was worth one life. ) ]

That means you don't have much of a plan, doesn't it? If you were running around releasing all of her stress like that, what could that accomplish? That's inefficient, like you said. [ . . . ] I don't agree with you, of course, but don't you fine her emptiness beautiful?

[halleberry]

At the time, she had the stress of over 15 years worth of family problems to deal with, nya. And staying with her to help her blow off some steam was the idea I settled on for a nyumber of reasons. The first was the debt I owed to her, for letting me assimilate with her, for giving me access to that big brain of hers. The second of which was me being curious, my fascinyation with her heart and her situation. And the third...well, it's a bit of self-satisfaction on my part, too! Nyahahaha! It feels really good to go around and terrorize the streets, and it's a good short-term solution! Like I said, I'm not that smart, but it was definitely the best idea I had at the time, nyahahahaha!

[ She closes the distance between them all over again, though, crawling up to put her hand on her shoulder. ]

Nyeah, I think that what she does puts her in a class of her own. And I'm more than happy to keep my mistress pure white by any means necessary, as part of my debt. But when I see an opportunity here, I'm gonna fucking snag it. That's just what a cat does, nyahaha!

[nachetanya]

The circumstances here really aren't the best for anything like this, you know.

[ She tilts her head but...

She can't focus on this, even with her mind cleared. And so she smirks as she - pushes the other back. Intending to take advantage of the fact this was a sincere moment to mount on top of her ]

But until the end of it, I'll do what I can, of course. I'll even hear out other plans you might have.

[halleberry]

They're not the best for dating, either, but that didn't stop you from asking her out.

[ Contrary to the fight she was putting up before, she doesn't seem to mind getting mounted. ]

But don't make me regret telling you that.

[nachetanya]

[ She nods... and with some surprise, now straddling the other: ]

You don't mind me on top of you after all.

[halleberry]

...Huh. I guess I don't, nya. Who would've thought?

[ She says that, but, judging by the look on her face, this isn't some kind of surprising revelation on her part... ]

[nachetanya]

Then why compete with me so heavily.

[ She says this with a pout, puffing out her cheeks. Her hand reaches out to first brush back the other's hand, but then to bring her fingers gently over her throat. With one hand, there's basically no risk of strangulation. But Tsubasa ... Nya? Was scratching at her own the other day.

[halleberry]

[ The hand at her throat makes Hanekawa inhale. Not from any sort of risk, but, at the idea of Nachetanya's hand on the most fragile part of her body.

Is there trust, in a motion like this? Again, it's her mistress's job to think about things like this. ]

I wanted you to show me that side of yourself.

[nachetanya]

I've shown you my attraction over and over before now.

[ So why this? She presses a little harder, and she locks her eyes with tsubasa. ... Nya. Whoever. ]

[halleberry]

Look at yourself. At what you're doing right now.

[ She smiles, as Nachetanya's thumb rests on her larynx. ]

This how you show your attraction?

[nachetanya]

[ Okay I'm not uploading the icon for obvious reasons but assume her smirk is somewhat closer to this image ]

What would you call it?

[halleberry]

[ It's definitely a side to herself that she wouldn't show her mistress. She can see that, plain as day. It's not a matter of Tsubasa not being a fighter, or anything like that. There's something else here. It makes her toes curl, and her nails grip tighter at bedsheets. ] Mania.